On the topic of black men and accountability. 

When people are not being held accountable for actions that clearly put others in a place where they can be and are constantly triggered, then there is no community. 
There is no community because you allow black men to get away with asking stupid, thoughtless questions like “how is your baby daddy” 
These people, (almost always cis men) 

Don’t remember or even think to ask how you are. 
They weren’t asking how you were when your ‘baby daddy’ was talking to you like scum of the earth in front of them. 
They weren’t asking how you were when your ‘baby daddy’ was kicking you out of the car and speeding off with your ten month old child still in the car.
They weren’t asking how you were when your car was ‘mysteriously’ damaged. 
They weren’t asking how you were when your ‘baby daddy’ was flinging you, naked, out of the bathroom in front of your screaming sister and godson with your child sleeping in the next room. 
They weren’t asking you how you were when your ‘baby daddy’ was calling you at 3am, drunk and high on cocaine, ordering you to lie to the police who had just showed up at your door, looking for him because he had just fled the scene of a car crash. 
They weren’t and aren’t asking how you are or how you’re surviving whilst your ‘baby daddy’ is neglecting his parental responsibilities. 
They aren’t asking how you are full stop. 
But you just dare, try to get to a point where the abuse you experienced is one that you are (with the buttress of other black women…Surprise, not surprise!) healing from and finally existing again, smiling again, taking up some well deserved space and watch, see how many people will remember not you, but your ‘baby daddy’. 
This is the world we live in folks. One where the violence against black women is rampant and relentless yet we are completely invisible until it is clear that we actually doesn’t require attention or validation from men, at which point, we easily become objects of ridicule and disrespect at the hands of said men. 
Brothers! Talk to your friends, black women are not here for your consumption, entertainment, or to be your emotional mules. 

So if you aren’t checking for us, fuck off with your tactless questions…because the next time you ask one, I promise, you will be getting kicked, in the nuts. 

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Published in: on May 1, 2016 at 3:56 pm  Leave a Comment  

T H I S R O O M

This room is closing in,
Getting smaller with every breath
But, why?

I close my eyes and hold my breath
Open my eyes,
Let go…
It sill shrinks.
Now fear sets in
Why?

Stay calm,
A better day ahead,
Don’t think about it,
Just one night,
You’ll be fine…
I think I know why. .

Open your eyes!
Get up!
As i leave this room,
All fear is gone…
Now i know why.

Published in: on April 30, 2014 at 12:53 pm  Leave a Comment  
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F O O D

So I changed my diet and it has indirectly had a nice positive effect on me. .   all the foods you are exposed to when you take your eyes away from fast foods and processed foods are A M A Z  I N G  I mean just simply google vegetarian/Pescetarian/vegan meals and you are spoilt for choice. just making majority of my meals myself feels nice no more fast food making me fell like a fatty fat fatty ( oh! crushing contrary beliefs, I think tofu is niiicceee)

I basically became a Pescetarian( diet consists of everything else but meat,pork and chicken) and my body feels good!   nice and healthy I have been trying to incorporate more fruits and vegetables in my diet and it is kind of working (although I’m still scared of eating bananas and broccoli amongst a few others, I’m getting there) in the future I think it would be nice to be able to grow my own food, make my own clothes and just be as green as possible because then I would know that all that is going in my body and on my body is free of harmful chemicals and crazy shit that is put in processed foods I mean even farmers are feeding their herd nonsense nowadays which is increasingly worrying (one of the many reasons I’ve stopped eating meat)  I’m even getting bored of seafood now so maybe that’s going to come to an end shortly.

There are so many interesting flavours in raw fruit and vegetable meals! it blows my mind!. . .  maybe I’ll move on to being a raw vegan soon. .  only time will tell

Published in: on June 15, 2010 at 2:52 am  Leave a Comment  

I N S O M N I A

I dont know whether or not this will ake sense when I finally get some sleep but I feel the need to express myself and i want to do it now!

why is it that when things are put in the spotlight by the media, that is the only time when people notice it. . .  once they are out of the limelight. .  it is out of people’s minds too the only people who will never ever forget are the people that are directly affected by it . . .for example, the Haiti situation; since the media stopped covering it, so have our statuses on facebook, twitter, blah lah lah! it sad to know that people only think of things when it is forced into their brain and only a minute amount of selfless people remember not to forget about the people in need. .  I am not saying that I am a saint because I do it as well but I do think it would be nice if we could all dedicate a fraction of our time to remembering those in need and thinking of different little ways in which we can use to help the even if it is just by praying or donating old clothes to a charity shop (I’m sure you don’t need all those clothes in your closet =] ) what I did was set an alarm on my phone and i set this alarm to a time of the day that I am NEVER busy so i have no excuse to turn it off without doing something productive in regards to those who need help or are in some sort of physical or emotional pain. . . it feels good to help so let’s help ourselves by helping others

I hope this touched one person at least that’s the thought that keeps me going. .  .

Published in: on June 15, 2010 at 2:28 am  Comments (1)  

My Random. . . Incomplete Analysis Of Rosemary.

They say black is beautiful, I say black is a poem. . . a poem so deep and strong and bold that everybody wants to view her but she is proud. . . she’s being tough cos she thinks it’s wise

She stays young and pretty and remains smooth and gentle

She never fades for gracious is her walk, perfect is her touch

She is divine in creativity. . . black is first class    

 Black is you . .maybe. . .  .black is me. . . . .  definitely. . . .

Published in: on May 12, 2010 at 11:51 am  Comments (1)  

The Beauty of Nature

So I was on the train this morning and I don’t know what compelled me to look out the window but I’m glad I did because what I saw was A M A Z I N G. It was a fox just laying there, curled up in a ball and sleeping and I honestly don’t know why I found this so fascinating as I’m not exactly a fox lover but it just made me appreciate life a little more and so I’ve decided to make sure I try to notice the beauty of the things around me a little bit more. Life is good.

Published in: on April 28, 2010 at 2:06 pm  Comments (1)  

My eleven year old sister’s poem (I’m so proud)

A friend is there
From start to end
Far or near
Here to mend
A true friend
Will be there
From every hug to every tear
Always share
Never disappear
For a click of the finger
And they appear

To mend my broken heart
And bring a smile to your face
They will never be too far away…

Published in: on April 24, 2010 at 12:52 pm  Leave a Comment  

lies

Lies, in my language(yoruba) its called. “iro” I think that word sounds better for some reason. Why do we lie? I think we lie because we are selfish. Sure we think by sparing someone of the truth about the seriousness of a situation we are helping them but technically, we do it to help ourselves. If we don’t see the hurt, disappointment in another person’s eyes we don’t get to feel bad. I mean sure, we feel guilty about the lie but synthe same time we feel good about the fact that we think we have “spared” someone’s feelings. The irony of the situation is thath the truth ALWAYS comes out in the end and we just worsen the situation we were trying to avoid in the first place

Published in: on April 24, 2010 at 12:51 pm  Leave a Comment  

Hello world!

Well hellooooo world!            My blog virginity has finally been taken by wordpress.com  😛

This is officially my first blog and I am beyond excited, I mean. .  people can finally read my thoughts . . great stuff. . . well the crazy occasional misanthrope will start her blogging life tomorrow. . . I will be discussing the human brain and lies. . . I run this! :D. . .  .Really. .  I do.

Published in: on April 24, 2010 at 12:19 am  Comments (1)